Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Men Are Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Her wedding shopping takes forever. His tux rental is simple. One mood all the time. You can be in charge without having to sweat with the details. You'll never be pregnant. You don't have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You recall only the selectively important details of life, and don’t bother with the rest. You never worry about what to wear. You don’t know why your wife keeps buying you more clothes when the closet is full and older ones are perfectly fine. You can be ready to go in no time. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase (full of books). You can fall asleep anywhere. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, it's just one less obligation.
Your underwear is $14.95 for a three-pack. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts till its gone. You don't have to shave. 
The garage is all yours. You can play with toys all your life. “Running and working out” is an occupation.  One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.