The scripture commands wives to see that they respect their own husbands. God knows how He made men to need respect. God is NOT giving women a lot to be oppressed, but a ticket to honor and love as the queen of their homes.
However, scripture acknowledges tyrannical husbands. Abigail saved the lives of her household by bribing David and appealing to him. She said her husband was a fool as his name was. Abigail did not stand with Nabal in his sin. The Bible calls her a wise woman.
Abigail clearly acted against her husband's intentions. There is a place for that.
Life is so much better when there is honor both ways, but some have overreacted to feminism and swung the other direction "Obey him and God will hold him accountable." It should be balanced with what God calls wise.
